I will never understand the laws in place that automatically assumes the mother is the best option for a child of unwed parents and gives the father no rights. If the father is a loving, involved father throughout the pregnancy then why are they automatically a lesser parent? Just because a mother carries the child does not make her a better parent or imply a superior bond. I think every situation has to be looked at on a case by case basis and not just on assumptions, as it should be what is in the best interest of the child. Seldom does the government, laws or family courts actually care what is in the best interest of the child, which is the biggest problem unwed fathers face.
Let us explore an example of unwed parents below and why automatically giving a mother custody may not be in the child’s best interest.
Behavior/Action/Ability Mother Father
1. Lost job due to being dishonest. YES NO
2. Threatened to kill child to keep other parent from seeing child. YES NO
3. Uses child to control other parent. YES NO
4. Began alienating child from other involved, loving parent from birth to hurt them. YES NO
5. Views child as property they own. YES NO
6. Noticed child was having serious medical issue. NO YES
7. Refused to give child prescribed medication. YES NO
8. Uses lies in family court to further parental alienation against other parent. YES NO
9. Does not allow other loving parent to see child but wants their money. YES NO
10. Allows child to be touched inappropriately while in their care. YES NO
11. Has college education but is unemployed. YES NO
12. Lives off government programs and handouts. YES NO
13. Files false IRS tax returns to get more money from the government. YES NO
14. Can provide private health insurance for child. NO YES
15. Has shown they actually love the child and want what is best for them. NO YES
16. Can raise a hard working child with good morals, honesty, integrity, etc. NO YES
The assumption that mothers are better parents than fathers is putting many children into dangerous situations. 50/50 shared custody should be the goal unless a parent (mother or father) is proven to be unfit. The world of parenting is changing with many fathers taking a more active role in the raising of their children then ever before but society has been slow to catch up. Unfortunately, there are many bad parents of both genders that do not care about their children. To just give one parent custody while stripping the other parent’s rights to their child is unconstitutional. Fathers have the right to raise their children and our children have the right to both loving, fit parents!! The government is the #1 reason for fatherless children!!
*The above chart is only to represent why there should not be laws that allow an assumption that one parent automatically get custody without due process and does not represent any actual people. Any likeness or similiarities to any actual people is only coincidental.