This is a follow up to my May 24th post: Both Genders Can Be Good Parents.
As Father’s Day 2015 is approaching in a few weeks, fathers are still being stereotyped as clueless, inattentive, absent and deadbeats by society. Why is this false image of the modern day father still tolerated?
On June 19th, 2015 at many state capitals across the United States, The Father’s Rights Movement will be hosting its 2nd annual Fatherless Day Rally to bring awareness to the importance of fathers, 50/50 shared parenting, corruption in family courts and many other issues that affect modern day fathers. TFRM does not want more rights for fathers than mothers, just equal rights.
Did you know the more money states charge and collect in child support, the more funding they get from the feds? This has led and continues to lead to the destruction of good people causing ruined lives, from homelessness to suicide. Not to mention the occasional murder of innocent children or family members because the broken, corrupt system causes a person to snap.
Did you know that our men and women in the military have their service used against them in “family” court to strip their rights away while protecting the freedoms of the very people that allow this?
Did you know that as I write this tonight, several lawsuits have been filed to shut people, media and others up? So much for freedom of speech, free press or the bill of rights! To think of all the great soldiers we celebrated last week on Memorial Day that gave the ultimate sacrifice for these freedoms that are being taken away from many parents.
Did you know that a vindictive ex not only has a corrupt, broken family court system behind them but also a thumbs up for alienating the other parent, mostly fathers, from a society that allows it?
Fathers involvement has evolved in the modern day but our society has yet to catch up to modern times. Many people do not want this for whatever selfish reasons. Before you assume that every father is a deadbeat, not involved, clueless or any other negative stereotype, remember that no matter how flat you make a pancake, there are always two sides.
I live in a major US city and on any given weekend, while with my youngest daughter, I run into many great fathers that are doing a great job with their children. Sometimes these fathers do not look like the Ward Cleaver or Heathcliff Huxtable type fathers because of tattoos, long hair, piercings etc. What I have seen are many fathers loving their children and only wishing for more time without interfernce from exes or a judge that knows nothing about them.
I will share 2 of my many experiences with the modern day father. While waiting on the train one Sunday evening, I overheard a father with many visible tattoos talking to his 9 year old daughter as they were waiting for her mother to meet them after weekend visitation. What I heard was a good father telling his young daughter to say her prayers, respect her mother, do her homework and stay out of trouble until they got to see each other again in 12 days. His daughter cried that she didn’t want to wait 12 more days until she saw him. After this young man waved until his daughter could no longer see him, he began to cry. I walked over and asked if he needed to talk as I knew his pain very well. After talkng about our children and the pain of missing our babies, we shared a manly embrace. We remain friends to this day.
Just last weekend, while my wife and I were at the local park we witnessed a lot of fathers with their children for weekend visitation but one father stood out. He was a very tall, muscular man with dreadlocks and tattoos. We watched as this man played with his 6 month old son, fed him, changed his diaper, talked to him but most importantly, neither father or son stopped smiling. It was beautiful to watch this huge guy become the most gentle, loving, involved father.
It really bothers me that society doesn’t give modern day fathers any respect. Yes, there are bad fathers but there are just as many bad mothers. Why are all fathers judged by a few bad apples while mothers are not?
I am always shocked by how many women with sons continuously bad mouth fathers and talk about how they are a lesser parent. Do they realize that these boys will be fathers one day? If a boy is told from go that they are not going to be a good parent then they are already set up for failure.
It is no wonder that women think that men are a lesser parent. Girls are told by society from go that, as mothers, they are a better parent and more important than fathers.
We have to change all the negative, hurtful and untrue images of fathers from society, advertisers and Hollywood. Neither gender nor reproductive organs make someone a better parent.
I ask society to work on changing the constant negative image and inequality of fathers. This involves both genders, advertisers, media, family courts, elected officials….EVERYONE!
Disableddaddy.com is sponsoring a Fathers Matter March in Santa Monica, CA on Saturday, June 20th from 11 a.m-2 p.m. Everyone, not just fathers, that believes fathers matter is welcome to join us. Our goal is to bring awareness to the importance of fathers in our children’s lives and the struggles faced to be treated as equal parents.
If you support equal rights for both parents but are unable to attend the Fathers Matter March in Southern California, please find out where your local rally is and show your support.
The media needs to quit being absent in covering the damage being done to our children by ignoring fathers as equal parents. Don’t the people in media think it is time that our most precious future resource, our children, has a voice for their rights as humans? Don’t the people in media think that innocent children should be protected? Don’t the people in media think that it should be illegal for so many people to profit from innocent children?
The same questions could be asked to the family courts and elected officials. There is too much secrecy and corruption to say that they are doing what is in the best interest of our children.
I have always told my children there are no problems, only solutions. If you are not part of the solution then you are part of the problem.