This is a follow up post to “I’m Not A Monster” from May 20th, 2015
I did receive a response 4 hours later because my ex has always had to get the last word.
Tuesday, May 19th, 2015 Subject: Summer Visitation II
Continue to spew the venom and lies that you are best productive of. The girls, the court, dcs, and the doctor’s have stated the truth. This is what you have to live with- in addition to the knowledge that one day the girls will see you for who you are, instead of the Disney Daddy that you like to play.
This will be my last response, because this is a game that you started, and I will be ending.
I never “put a price on the heads” of our children or equated support with visitation. You would like to twist it that way, I’m sure, too display on your fictional Mr. Mom of the year/ Betty Crocker website. I simply stated the fact that you like to pick the kids up and play with them on vacation time, going on lavish vacations and shopping sprees, but you have never been there for real life. And for the record, when you lived in Indiana, I always let you see the girls despite the fact that you don’t pay child support. You have money for Hawaii, but not you children? ? Now who’s classy?
Lastly, to address ALL of the medical care that you got for them? ? Seriously. You took them to the eye doctor- at my request, because it was time for their yearly exam. (I will NEVER ask you to do that again as it willbe held against me in a court of law- instead of being regarded as Co-parenting). And you took —- to the dentist for an abscessed tooth which, according to her physicians here, she will continue to be prone to due to the amount of radiation she has had. Lest I mention the fact that you did not, in fact, follow up and actually have the tooth taken care of as you had scheduled. I did that here.
Again, I want to restate that I had been willing to work with you. However, after this email the one thing I’m certain of is the fact you are still not willing to admit that you were- and are wrong. Until you are done sending hateful, venomous, lie laden messages we have nothing to talk about.
As always the girls are free to communicate with you at any time.
— —– ——- RN
Hmmm….where to even start after such a response. I would not put any stock into a broken family court system and CPS that allow some bad custodial parents to not face any consequences for their abuse towards innocent children. I have addressed this in other posts and will not waste the space here.
I am a very proud Disney Daddy 🙂 When I went in for medical testing on December 24th, 2012 I already knew I would be getting back horrible news. This was why my wife had already planned a trip for myself and the children to the happiest place on earth. It was January 2nd, 2013 that the doctor called and left a message while I was waiting with my baby for everyone to finish riding the “Tower Of Terror” (ironic) I did not answer because I was too scared. We went to the ABC lunch place and after my wife nudged me through lunch I decided to call the doctor back. Of course the news was devastating but expected, so I wiped my tears, put on my brave face and decided to go back to share with the family. I told the girls and they cried…I wiped their tears and told them that we were at the happiest place on earth and it was time to celebrate in the moment…no tears only smiles because we would make memories to last a lifetime 🙂 I had made this a priority the entire trip and it was awesome. Disney World was where my oldest got to go for her Make-A-Wish trip and holds a special place in my heart. Please support Make-A-Wish and Give Kids The World as these places take away a families worries for a short time and offer a million lifetime memories.
Disney, in any form, is amazing because it offers an ill father the chance to make memories with his children while everyone forgets his pain and impending death. I am still alive because of my desire to see my children grow another day and I am lucky that God gave me an Angel that wants to give my children memories of their daddy for long after he is gone. I have no money and did not pay for the Hawaii trip to Aulani but am happy I got those memories. For anyone curious, Aulani is not a typical Disney Park type experience but more of a lazy, relaxing, float down the river and enjoy your children’s smiles type experience.
I did use part of my disability settlement to pay for one trip. That trip was a surprise trip back to Indiana to investigate after my children were complaining about abuse…which proved very true and sadly provided even more deep secrets. Again, I have covered this in other posts and will not waste the space here.
My children come first and if I was allowed would always be more involved. From the day my 3 oldest daughter’s stepfather arrived in the picture he has not only spewed venom, lies and insults but has said he will destroy what my girls think of me after my death…classy. I have nothing to hide about what I have done or mistakes I have made, as I learn from these and become a better person, making sure to never make the same mistakes, unlike others who repeat mistakes as they play the victim. My biggest regret was from March 2007-August 2007 as I allowed my anger at my girl’s mother from the years of her physical, emotional and verbal abuse to cloud my judgement. I do not blame her as I made the choices I made. I learned from them and those experiences have not only made me one hell of a human but a damn good father!
I never put a price on my children and when I was able bodied, money never figured into being a daddy. I will never forget the time my ex called at 7 p.m. and said our oldest, who is special needs, had learned how to read and wanted me to hear over the phone. I promised my girl that I would be home in the morning before school so I could personally watch her read this book and sign that I witnessed this amazing accomplishment. I was an over the road truck driver, had just unloaded in Dallas, Texas at 3 p.m. and was waiting for a reload in the morning. I immmediately cancelled the load, paying $2500 and began heading home empty. Fuel was $4.59/gallon costing me another $383 plus another $30 in tolls. I arrived just in time to see her read before she headed to school and have forever been thankful. There was another time my 2nd born was singing Silent Night at church and I deadheaded from the East Coast to the church parking lot to make sure I saw this important performance. When I arrived my daughter was terrified so I told her I would sit where she could see daddy and to just sing to me like always. That girl nailed it and I still smile anytime I hear that song 🙂 My point is that I was a truck driver until I became disabled in 2010. I did the best I could to be there, as someone had to pay the bills. I would have rather been afforded the luxury of staying at home and getting my degree.
As I stated earlier, I have been blessed with an Angel sent straight from God that has put up with some stuff and always handled it beautifully. From paying my child support, though she had no responsibility, to buying school supplies and clothes to beds for my girls…not for our house but for the custodial parent’s house. I remember many times leaving in the middle of the night to drive the 90 minutes one way to the custodial parent’s home so they could study before going to nursing classes. I never complained because I loved the opportunity to wake the kids, make their breakfast, get them dressed and drive each one to school. Sometimes I would go back to their house and sleep until lunch so I could surprise them for lunch. I was always jealous that I did not get to be more of a father but I took every opportunity given! My wife not only supported this but loved how happy it made me. My girls have a great female role model and stepmother. I will share one last story about this subject: It was my weekend with the girls and their mother’s graduation from nursing school. My wife had just worked a 14 hour shift and then had a doctor appointment before the graduation. She was 9 months pregnant and due any day but made it a point to be there because she knew the hard work the children’s mother put in and wanted to cheer for her. My wife stood with her big belly and cheered louder than anyone when the girl’s mommy was called up 🙂 I write these things because people like to call people names and act as though they are a victim or single parent….
Denying a parent, whether a man or woman, the opportunity to be an involved parent then calling them a deadbeat or saying they were never there other than to be the “fun parent” is one of the dumbest things. Denying communication between a parent and their children as has been a major target of not only my 3 older daughter’s mother but also my son’s mother is evil. (Isolation is an abusers weapon of choice.) To try to ruin the noncustodial parent in the eyes of their children because you are angry, jealous, etc. is abuse. Parenting is not a competition…
I am getting tired but want to end this by saying that I do not think the girl’s mother is a monster. When the girls were younger, she was the most amazing mommy ever!! I used to go to her for advice and, trust me, when I was screwing up she was on my ass 🙂 I think that she found out quickly there is a big difference when you have to work full time instead of just being a focused stay at home parent. She began to make bad choices and then surrounded herself with evil people that brought out bad qualities. We have all made bad choices and there is not a thing wrong with that, if you learn so you grow better…not owning them and fixing them as you repeat them becomes the problem.
I hope every parent reading this will begin to love their children more than they hate their ex…for the children’s best interest.
To the Family Courts or anyone else that opposes 50/50 parenting and recognizing that Parental Alienation/Interference needs consequences…When will you just be truthful instead of using the smoke and mirrors propoganda?